Whatever you decide to do with your life, whatever path you decide to walk, people are going to stand in your way. They are going to doubt you. They are going to give you bad advice. They will do you wrong: unintentionally and on purpose. They will lie. They will undermine you. They may actively take steps to stop you. You will not be the first to experience this and will not be the last. You will be in good company. So, how should you react to this?
““Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11-12, NIV)
Think about what it means to have a “disruptive” idea or business – something that promises to upend the entire way of thinking, doing things, or living your life. It may mean you are not just someone’s competition; you may be seen as an existential threat. Why would anyone who felt they faced obsolescence, then irrelevance, then oblivion, just accept that fate? Of course, they are going resist and put up road blocks. There is going to be conflict.
The important question is not if this is going to happen, but how you are going to respond to the challenge when it does. As Marcus Aurelius (121–180 AD) wrote: our opponents are going to gouge us in the ring, they are going to bruise us and butt us with their heads. The question is how are we going to react. Are we going to get angry and take it personally? Or are we going to keep our cool, take note of their tactics, and change our strategy so this cheating doesn’t catch us off guard or prevent us from succeeding? As Jesus said to his disciples:
“. . . be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16, NRSV)
According to Seneca (4 BC–65 AD), the other critical part of dealing with an adversarial situation is how we will behave when we are the leader. Are we going to hold grudges? Are we going to nurse anger about how we were treated by those entrenched interests or hang onto the resentment of powerful people who we feel are not powerful? We won’t if we want to be happy. Not if we want to be a better kind of person when it’s our turn to lead.
Seneca wrote:
“It is not to your benefit to see and hear everything. Many injuries ought to pass over us; if you ignore them, you get no more injury from them.”
King Solomon (990-931 BC) wrote:
“Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you – for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, NIV)
Not surprisingly, one of Seneca’s most powerful essays is about clemency – the power of forgiveness, of kindness, even to people who have not been kind to you. In this same vein, the Apostle Paul wrote:
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13, NIV)
The point is, you must do what is right, regardless of the obstacles placed before you and the injuries inflicted upon you. Don’t let them make you angry, bitter, or mean. It should not surprise any of us that people will protect the status quo if it’s for their own position. Nor should it stop us. Just keep going. Love it all. Forget what doesn’t matter. Ignore the wrongs and the slights, cuts, and bruises. In fact, follow the admonition in the book of Romans:
“Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (Romans 12:17-21, The Message)
We are the stronger ones. We can absorb it and use it to learn from.
The great Nobel prize-willing poet Juan Ramón Jiménez wrote: “The strongest man is the one who forgets the most.” Let that inspire you today.
What say you man of Valor?
Adapted from “Daily Stoic Email, 26 April 2023