The Latin term, ordo amoris, was a familiar term in the theology of the early church. In English, it means “order of love.” This term is attributed to North African theologian Augustine of Hippo (354-430 A.D.). Saint Augustine explained it this way:
“All people should be loved equally, but you cannot do good to all people equally, so you should take particular thought for those who, as if by lot, happen to be particularly close to you in terms of place, time, or any other circumstances.”
In today’s culture, people love power, pleasure, and self-gratification more than truth, sacrifice, and God. This leads to the loss of morality, the rise of weak men and women, and the collapse of families and social order. With no correction, we will suffer the consequences – not only in this life but in eternity. In the chaos, confusion, and misplaced priorities of today’s world, the concept of Ordo Amoris, the right ordering of love, is crucial.
Scripture confirms an order of love (ordo amoris) – a series of concentric circles concerning care for our kin, communities, and countries.
Consider the following order of love (ordo amoris):
- God
- Self
- Parents or Spouse
- Children
- Neighbors
- Community/Church
- County/State
- Country
- International Allies
I will not go through all these here, but consider the following.
God
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37, ESV)
Love of God takes priority over all others.
“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:37, ESV)
Self
“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” (Ephesians 5:29, ESV)
Parents
“’Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise)” (Ephesians 6:2, Exodus 20:12, ESV)
Jesus called out the Pharisees about their neglect of their parents by giving too much to the church.
“But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God) – then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down.’” (Mark 7:11, ESV)
But there comes a time when a person may marry and leave home. The ordo amoris dictates a change in allegiance.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, ESV)
Spouse
“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:28, ESV)
Children
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8, ESV)
Again, love of God is a priority over the love of children.
“For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” (Matthew 10:35, ESV)
Community or Church
“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10, ESV)
As stated above, each of us does not have the resources to help everyone. Our call is to help those closest to us and, with our abundance, reach out further to those close to us. As our abundance increases, our ability to reach further expands. This was the purpose of Jabez’s prayer (1 Chronicles 4:9-10).
There comes two different problems. The first problem often arises that we become self-centered and treat only ourselves and those closest to us with our abundance and neglect to offer anything to others. The parable of the talents illustrates God’s approach to this (Matthew 25:14-30). God gives abundance to enable sharing with others rather than hoarding for ourselves (Luke 12:16-21).
The second problem is when we use our attention and resources to help others far from us while neglecting those closest to us (1 Timothy 5:8).
When love is disordered, people fall into confusion, sin, and weakness. When love is rightly ordered, people find purpose, peace, and strength. Therefore, in prayer, seek guidance from the Holy Spirit to ensure proper order of love (ordo amoris) in your life.
Something to pray about.